I’m sad. It’s allowed. This has been a bad spring. It wasn’t supposed to be, it’s was supposed to be a fun spring with a 95th birthday party in Myrtle Beach for my 2nd mother (who provided me with a safe and loving place when I was 17), and prepping the pups for a summer of adventures in agility and scent trials. We (the pups and I) went to South Carolina for the beginning of April.
Mom Cyr’s birthday party was a real celebration of a wonderful life well lived, with the sad understanding that cancer was going to take her away. We expected we had months. We didn’t. I was home for 10 days when Melody called.
April 19th, Jackie Cyr, my 2nd mother went home to Jesus.
The funeral mass was lovely. Mom was a professed lay Carmelite, and wanted her mass to be as formal as could be and mostly, it was. I was very proud to be an honorary pall bearer, along with her sons, George and Chris and her grandsons, Brandon and Porter.
The warmth and love she gave us that last birthday party was sustenance now. I will always remember her when we said good-bye – her smile, the brightness in her eyes – how lovely and alive she was.
As I drove home from the birthday party, my phone got a couple of texts. Not unusual, but I don’t normally check them until I’m stopped for the night, or a meal. This time, I stopped to walk the pups and checked. My cousins were letting me know that their mother, my cousin Kathleen had died in her sleep the night before. This was a shock as there was no warning.
3 years ago, before Covid slammed the door on trips, I went ‘cross-country. In Wyoming I had the pleasure of dinner with Kathleen and much of her family. I hadn’t seen her in years but we kept in touch via email. It was wonderful to see her (and them) again, and reaffirm the bond of “cousinhood” we shared.
Kathleen had the gift of faith beyond all measure. If she was the bulwark against all this world could ever throw at her family, faith was the mountain of strength she leant against. She was made of love, grace and faith, and no one would stand against her. Like so many, I loved her dearly.
As I absorbed the loss of two special people, a threat to a third was unfolding in Maine. Grace, my cousin-in-law was in Eastern Maine Med’s ICU, fighting for her life. She’d had a “bad reaction” to a drug. Understatement of the year, and a horrible case of medical incompetence. (another story for another day)
Gerald, her husband and my cousin called me with that news. All I could do for him and their family (Paula, Todd and the grand-girls) was pray. So I did. Jerry would not be the fine man he is without Grace. She was his saving Grace. And I do so love them all.
It was a great relief to hear several days later that she was winning the fight of her life, but she’s not quite out of the woods. Because her blood pressure dropped so precipitously, she was given “pressors” which helped save her life. They may have cost her fingers or a hand… we won’t know for a bit yet. It’s an awful thing, to have to adapt to such a loss when you’re over 70, but if anyone can do it, Grace can. And Jerry will be right there with her. So this one at least is a bad news/good news thing. I’ll hang on to the good news part.
I plan on visiting them in the fall.
Last, but not at all least, my step-aunt Nancy continues to fight “long covid” and the inexorably long decline associated with it. Step-mom Betty has had yet another bout of covid, and is getting ready for hernia surgery sometime this month – if Covid will permit it.This is a bummer of a blog post. In truth life is not always rainbows and unicorns, sometimes it sucks and that’s all there is to it. Just get through it.
Oh, and UCONN Women’s Basketball got all the way to the championship game. Damn, and Thank God for that team. At least I could enjoy their games.
Always, there are the fur-kids; without them where would I be? (not going there) Blackie, who is the best used-to-be-feral sweet cat ever; Trippy, for whom I am the ESH (emotional support human); and Tyson, who demonstrated to everyone this spring that he really is a born ESD (emotional support dog), by loving on those who needed him the most, even if he barely knew or had just been introduced. I am so proud of him!
I took some pictures and video during the birthday party. Mom Cyr was a singer, and still had it at 95. Sadly, I wasn't close enough to get much of her singing, but I did get her children and grandchildren singing. It is one of the things we have in common - that love of music.
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