Piper Poem #2

From 2013, another ode to Piper:

A blizzard came an’ momma set me loose

I jumped an’ I played and ran off like a goose

I’m in big trouble ‘cause I went on the lam

Momma says I’m a bad dog, yes I AM.

Oh, I am not a bad dog, she’ll say

Then she threatens to send me away.

I wear the orange collar of shame

Whenever we go out now to play a game

I’m not allowed outside at all

Without a shock-collar, horse fence or a 10’ wall.

Oh, I am not a bad dog, she’ll say

Then she threatens to send me away.

The ACO was nice after all, didn’t charge my mother

It’s $92.50 – roaming dogs are quite a bother

Momma say I cost her some big money

Then she melts ‘cause my eyes are like honey

Oh, I am not a bad dog, oh no

But I have got a LONG way to go.

My attention span’s a nanosecond

A really long time, I reckon

I’m a-scared of the cat and the vacuum cleaner

I like table scraps, biscuits and little wieners

Oh, I am not a bad dog, oh no

But I have got a LONG way to go.

Sometimes I wish I were a good dog, like Trix

Momma loves me anyway, even if I need to be fixed.

I’m a good dog, I’ll stand beside her

And when I’m scared I hide behind her

I am not a bad dog, oh no

But I have got a LONG way to go.

 

Another verse or two…

Momma has a guard she wears to bed

I got a hold of it and tore it to shreds

It’s $1400 and Momma is mad

I guess I was really, really bad.

I’m a bad dog, it’s really true

This is worse than chewing a shoe.

Momma won’t sleep well without her guard

But it’s not wearable in plastic shards

She might stop breathing and that’s scary

If you don’t breathe life’s a little hairy.

I’m a bad dog, it’s really true

But I love my momma, through and through

I hope that’s enough to save the day

Or this time I might get sent away

I try to be good, but it’s just too hard

Maybe this time I’ve gone too far.

Please Momma, don’t send me away

Someday I’ll be a good dog, I promise, okay?

 

Piper, I just don’t know what to do.

I keep working to try and teach you

You are such a bad dog sometimes

That I have to write it in rhymes.

No, I won’t send you away

Just stick to your toys when you play.

You’ve got lots of toys and lots of bones,

Leave my yarn and other things alone!